Kicking Cancers ASS!

September 23, 2011 I was diagnosed with stage zero Breast Cancer (DCIS).  DCIS is a contained breast cancer that forms in the milk duct.  Thank God for Dr. Rubman, my long time general practitioner for giving me a thorough exam and finding the lumps in my left breast.


Here I am a month later, wow how life has changed. One minute I'm Shelly the next I'm Shelly with cancer.  Cancer will not identify who I am, I won't let it take over my life either.  But I will embrace this journey with courage, bravery, at time tears and anger but most of all with a very hard kick in it's ASS.


After many sleepless nights researching DCIS on the Internet and reading endless amounts of literature the hospital has given me I'm starting to understand what it is tyring to ruin what I think of as my perfect boobs.  How dare cancer screw up my 41 year old body that I've worked so hard to maintain.  Angy yes, I eat pretty healthy, don't smoke, work out and yes I enjoy my wine and martini's which I've since pretty much given up.


Fast forward one month.  After several appointments with doctors, surgeons, oncologist, radiation therapist and a second opinion I've decided the best place for treatment is right here at Fletcher Allen with a fantastic Dr. Michelle Sowden.  I have to say the minute I met her I knew it would be her to walk with me on the journey.  I just had to have that second opinion almost to knock it in my head that this is my life right now and yes I do have cancer.


At my most recent appointment Friday I was told after reading the MRI that a lumpectomy was not going to work the cancer is taking over a third of my breast.  A third of my breast sounds like a lot but I have implants and those of you who know me after those kids of mine were born know that there wasn't much there.  Needless to say a third of my "real" breast tissue isn't a ton.  I didn't quit understand or blocked out Dr. Sowden saying the word MASTECTOMY.  It was maybe the third time she said "no Shelly a lumpectomy is out of the question you need a mastectomy.  At that moment my world seriously stopped, I could not even look at Tim but was holding his hand very tight.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream, throw up, punch something, the room was spinning.  I just took a breath and started crying.  Dr. Sowden put her hand on my knee look in my eyes and said "I'm really sorry this is not what I expected".  Tim's response was were not getting treatment here we are going back to Dana Farber.  Tim also didn't really know what he was saying he was very angry.  Dr. Sowden walked out of the room to get another Dr. to go over the MRI films with us so we could grasp what she was telling us.  Once Tim and I sat in the dark room and looked at the computer screen we totally understood.  What use to be one of my perfect perky boobs was not looking so perfect inside.  It needed to be removed and thanks to modern practice of medicine they will be able to perform a skin sparring mastectomy, I guess the exciting part is I will get my first tattoo it will be my new nipple.


As we sat back down in the exam room with Dr. Sowden she finished explaining that there were a few questionable spots on my right breast, OK Doc where is the good news today I've had about enough!  Needless to say here is where we stand tomorrow (Monday) we meet with the plastic surgeon (good thing I already have a relationship with her).  Tuesday I have my second biopsy on my right breast.  Friday we meet with Dr. Sowden hopefully the last time I will see her until my surgery.  I'm still waiting my genetic testing results I hope to get them this week.


I'm so thankful for all my family and friends they are my rocks that are making my boulder.  My boulder is going to crush this damn cancer as I kick it's ASS!


As for my children Colton and Kylie they are actually doing well.  Colton has a lot of questions about my boobies Kylie really doesn't seem to be effected.


I'm dealing with this full throttle I do give myself time to be sad, angry and cry but for the most part I'm taking this as journey and with a positive attitude.  If I can get anything out of this it's for people to take care of themselves, go to the doctors, the dentist, preventative care is very important!


I'm sorry for the long post I've really been wanting to do this so everyone knows whats going on but I've just been a little pre-occupied.  Now that I've started I will try and keep it up to date.


xoxo